confused

I never heard back from that girl Julianna. At least I haven't heard anything yet and it's been well over a week. I don't think she was like oh he sucks in bed because we went at it for like 4 hours over and over and I doubt she was faking any of that. I guess she is just another one of these confused or abused women who have low self esteem underneath their rough and sexual outward personality. Deep down they want something else or are very hurt so they can't deal with commitment and are sexual addicts. Ok I really have no fucking idea what I am talking about, this is probably my brain's way of just coping with the rejection. The thing is, I shouldn't feel rejected because I had her and we had a good time. I should try and be objective about the whole thing and focus on what I go out of the situation rather than what I could have got. I guess I am having a hard time being humble. Maybe I am hurt? I don't know, but one thing I do know is that I need to suck this shit up and get on with it. I had a great night with a hot chick, carve another notch in the bedpost and move on is how I need to be thinking about this shit. I really wish I had a different job. I work so god damn hard and I sweat blood and tears on a daily basis. I see these white jokers in their suits, walking by the construction site I am working on and laughing while they sip their $5 coffees and smoke cigarettes. Seems like an easy life. Perhaps it is a life that is empty and alone. LOL I wish... most of these fuckers look happy. They got it made in the shade with their pointy leather shoes and blackberrys. If you can't beat em, join em is what they say. But is it really possible for a guy like me to do that? I say no. I think I just need to embrace myself for who I am and move forward.

I met a new girl named Rita and she is really hot. She is a blonde woman who is 28 years old and she is a teacher. She seems like my polar opposite but she really seems to be into me. Perhaps she just wants to experiment with me. This wouldn't be the first time I have been taken advantage of by a woman who just wants to experiment on me sexually. This woman is really mild mannered but I can tell that she has a dark side to her just by the way that she talks and the sexual innuendos she is constantly referring to. I told her she could come over on the weekend and we could watch a dvd and chill. She was like uh ok... I am pretty sure she was expecting for me to ask her on a formal date, but honestly my attitude is really jaded right now, so how about I just take the bull by the horns here and tell her to just come over here and if she don't like it she can go fuck herself. So she said ok and said that she would bring some popcorn. She is coming over on Saturday night so I will let you guys and gals know how it goes.

Please leave me some comments, I would really appreciate it. I would like to know what other people think of me.